Something Bigger Than Myself: Reflections on Suicide Prevention and National Volunteer Week

In times of crisis, I have often turned to volunteering. When I was 16 years old, one of my closest friends went into heart failure and was flown to another state for a heart transplant. I was one of the last people to see her before she was rolled out onto the tarmac and lifted into the helicopter. I felt helpless watching her disappear into the horizon. I spent the subsequent months fundraising, public speaking on the importance of organ donation and traveling several hours just to visit her for a few minutes at a time. I had discovered activism as a way to cope with my lack of control, setting the tone for how I would continue to face adversity in the years since.

Three years later when my high school friend Roma died by suicide, I once again turned to activism. I joined a budding student organization on my college campus and attended my first American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Columbus, Ohio. There, I discovered a community of people who understood my grief and ambition for change. I also saw the incredible work other volunteers were doing through AFSP chapters across the country, and I knew I wanted to follow in their footsteps.

In 2015, I relocated to Washington, D.C., for advanced practice medical training and found the local AFSP chapter. I emailed the volunteer coordinator — now my husband! — and we began collaborating on initiatives to improve suicide prevention education for medical trainees. I joined the chapter’s Board of Directors in 2017, became its Chair in 2018, and was appointed to the Chapter Leadership Council in 2021.

In my years with AFSP, I have met with local, state, and federal elected officials to pass life-saving legislation. I have developed programming for medical trainees, stewarded relationships with professional associations, and testified before the FDA in support of expanding novel medication options for treatment-resistant depression. I’ve gone on podcasts and radio shows to raise awareness about suicide prevention, and presented suicide prevention education programs to everyone from educators, teens, and parents to business executives, health systems, the National Hockey League (NHL), and NASA. I attended the first wreath-laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery for service members lost to suicide, hosted an International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day event, and became a trained volunteer for AFSP’s Healing Conversations peer support program for those who’ve lost someone. As a council member, I get a bird’s eye view of the work being done across our chapters and collaborate on new initiatives to ensure they have the tools they need.

Volunteering with AFSP for the past 15 years has rebuilt my sense of self-efficacy and restored my hope for the future. With each opportunity I’ve been given to support AFSP’s mission — to save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide — I have increasingly appreciated the powerful impact we can have as individuals. When I pause to reflect on the thousands of other passionate volunteers across the country who are doing what I have done and so much more, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. When Roma died, ASFP gave me a place to put my pain and use it to reshape the future. At my first AFSP Out of the Darkness Walk, I wrote “this is all for you” on a memory board not yet knowing what he would inspire me to do. It is the greatest privilege of my life to look back at everything I’ve been part of as a volunteer with AFSP and see how our collective action has changed the conversation around suicide in honor of Roma and the countless others who brought us together.

There have been many “mission moments” that have kept me coming back, and one full-circle moment in particular reminds me of my “why.” Tragically, my former high school cross-country team had experienced several suicide losses during my early years in D.C. It was that year that I attended my first Advocacy Forum. There, I met volunteers from the Western New York chapter and shared how upsetting these losses had been for me. I learned that the chapter was not only aware but was actively engaged and offering support to the school community. I felt relieved, and realized that wherever I was not, someone else would be. It was proof that through volunteering with AFSP, I had become part of something bigger than myself.

Learn about the many ways you can volunteer with AFSP.